Friday, January 30, 2009

Bewilderness

Talked to my mother last night. Told her my plan for the weekend was to buy a sofa. To which her response, verbatim, was 'but wouldn't you rather have a laptop?'.

As yet, I am unable to work out how or why these two objects would be considered interchangeable substitutes for each other.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

So, 2009 eh?

Looks like I've left it too long to comment in any useful way on the changing of the year, death of the old, rise of the new etc. Suffice it to say I have spent much of this year cold and hungry and my prospects for that changing any time soon seem slim to none. On the plus side, I still have a job and I haven't moved house. Yet.

Claude is still looking ill - he has developed a worrying new symptom which sees him floating near the top of the bowl and puffing in a strained fashion. Am trying another dose of the medicinal drops as prescribed by the lady in the piscine emporium but am unsure how to proceed if that doesn't work...

Pre-ordered the new Bruce album last week and it's STILL NOT HERE. You have let me down, Play.com. The effects of this dastardly behaviour on our otherwise strong relationship remain to be seen...

Books I've read so far in 2009:
  • Dreams From My Father - Barack Obama - v good
  • The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins - v interesting for the most part. Gratifying to see I was and am not deluded although this did deny me any kind of eye-opening or life-affirming experiences
  • Dawn Of The Dumb - Charlie Brooker - painfully vitriolic but v funny for the most part. Sets the bar for the kind of writer I wish I was brave and smart enough to be
In other news it looks like I will be purchasing a sofa soon - to add to the list of furniture I still can't believe I own and thus tying me somewhat unwillingly to the concept of being an adult. Gareth is sneakily trying to get out of helping me shop for said new sofa, offering useless suggestions such as 'we can order it online' and 'send me a picture, I'll tell you if I think it looks comfortable'. So, comfort is the sole requirement for this new sofa (our current futon option is an instrument of torture of Inquisition-like proportions) and he appears to be implying this feature can be gauged by LOOKING AT A PICTURE ON THE INTERNET. The man's an ass.

On a more cheery note, he posed the question last night of which celebrities we should cast in a live action remake of the Cluedo boardgame (or Clue, to my American readers who did not have Ludo as children and thus were denied one of Life's simple pleasures. Along with Snakes & Ladders - I have not the words to describe how contemptible I think their cop out Chutes & Ladders version is). So far I've got:
  • Mrs White - Dawn French
  • Professor Plum - Stephen Fry
  • Colonel Mustard - Bill Nighy
  • Mrs Peacock - Cate Blanchett
  • Miss Scarlet - Angelina Jolie (Gareth had Nigella Lawson down for this one, presumably because he fancies her. That was his game, this is mine and I decline to let Nigella's unspeakably smug mug anywhere near it)

Which leaves only Reverend Green remaining - I'm toying with the idea of Rob Brydon but am open to suggestion. Thoughts and comments to the usual address please.